It has been a long time!

Tonight i will suprice my frenchman with a banana-cake and risotto. It's the first time in my life i am trying to make risotto so it will be interesting to see the results of this experiment.

It's been a long day and i am not so motivated to cook, but i now that his day has been worse than mine so i am doing it for him. He had to work this Sunday..;Well he works all the days in the week, all the time.

Anyway i know that it has been i while sense i wrote the last time. Nowdays i speak french everyday so writing in english now feels more difficult than before, but i think that it is a good idea to write here now and then to make the brain muscles work a little and that will hopefully make me remember.

I like the english language and it's cool because here everybody thinks that i speak really good english because i am not french ( it's the french people that says that, not me ;) )

I have to continue to cook the dinner now. I hope you have a lovely evening!

Ciao amigos/ amigas !
/Soffan

Language !

Since January i live in beautiful France together with my frenchman and by just writing this first frase i notice that i have forgotten much english. It's sad, because i like the english language!

Anyway, i just realized that it's been 9 month in this country! Wow; the time really flies away this year... like every year lately.

During these 9 months have i learned so much about myself, the french language and a little about running also of course ( i live with a runner!). I could never have imagining before going here that i would do so much progresse in the french language. Just in 6 month i could hold a conversation in french. Okay, not i perfect french but a conversation which i found amazing for myself.

Nowdays i speak french, but i have the sensation that i have stopped progressing which is sad, but it's not the end! Everybody has their bad periode in life and mine is now with the language. Soon that will change, i am sure !

Have a good evening!
Ciao amigos !
/Sofie

Life is moving on slowly, but at the same time quickly!

It was a long time ago sense i wrote anything here, but now after changing my password it is finally possible to do so.

So long time no see. I live in France with my frenchman. Life here it not simple, but that i already knew before that it wouldn't be so it's not really a big surprise. For the moment i have just finished writing a new personal letter for a different kind of job. I hope it will turn out fine when i go to the company tomorrow to give it.

Another thing that my frenchman doesn't know yet, because he is outside doing some work with his motorcycle, is that i recieved another no-answer from another company. I don't recieve many answeres. This is the second time anyone accually bother to give me an answer. It's sad, but i prefer getting a no-answer than no answer at all. At least someone took the time to read my letter. Lets stay positive !!

The plan for today is to finish my other personal letter, then after go training at the stadium (running). It's much to do, that is also very important to do. There is not much time to spend. Some things have to be done very soon, after it is too late for that. Stressful.

No time to sleep here!

Have a great afternoon. Ciao Amigo!

Hello !

Boo...! Long time ago sense i wrote anything here. Plenty of things have happened sense that day. Oh wow, yes so much changes is taking part now.

First of all i quit my job at McDonald's one month ago and it now remains 2 days to work there. Unbelieveable, but it feels so good to finally leave. And in all this mess my mother have found a smaller apartment and we are moving furnitures every week. And the biggest change is that Stéphane and me are finally at the step at living together. It feel so good , but at the sametimes so, so, so, so scary to leave to build a life in another Europeen country.

My head is nowdays always full of information that makes me extremely confused. It sucks. Don't know what to do with it. I guess writing things here is a good start to let it all come out.

By the way speaking of something completely different. Have you thought about that its not long time left until Christmas is here. I love this time of the year. December is a good month. <3 p="">
Christmas-music will soon be played. By who? Me !! Mohaha.

Good night loyal readers! ;)
/Soffan

February, already!?

It is February! How did the time past away so fast? Wasn't it Christmas for not so long ago? Im lost and scared. I don't want the time to go so fast as it does. Well, a part of me want the time to go really, really fast a few month, but in the bigger picture, i want it to go a little slower than it now does.

The end of December and the beginning of January was the best time ever, but after that it has only been negative. Maybe my negative attitude comes from me having to work very much after my holiday without a soft start, but i want nothing more than to have a long, long break from it now. So tired of doing the same thing over and over again. It doesn't give me something anymore. The same thing day after day. It's like "every day, Monday".

And to make it even harder...I miss my Stéph so, so, so very much. And there is nothing i can do about it because i can't go and see him now. Waiting is not fun.


Good night my "readers"! Hope you have had great days!

/Soffan

Indescribable happiness!

I feel enormous happiness in this moment. I don't care if i misspell words or in any other way write something grammaticly wrong.

This person, me, was an hour ago really unhappy and irritated, but now i feel increadibly happy.

Good news can really lift you up from the mud. I'm looking forward to the very close future. <3 p="p">
Happiness.

/Soffan

Unhappy

My work is making me depressed. No, one tries to help or anything. Went there crying, left from it after crying then i finished for the day. Cried two times after on my way home. I'm glad that i have such a great boyfriend that is there to listen to my problems and make me feel better. I LOVE YOU, Stéphane! Je t'aime.

Seriously i feel so tired after all emotions today. And i feel an enormous aversion to not going to work tomorrow. Don't want to get near of that place at all. But i have obligations, which means that i have absolutly no alternative than to do my job.

Unhappiness and hopelessness is not fun to carry around on.

Please let me get my holidays as i want them now when i send in my message.

I want to feel hopeful and happy again!
/Soffan

Unhappy and angry

I am unhappy.  Doing all I can do, but it doesn't go the way i want it to go anyway. As it seems now, I won't be albe to see my love this month. People are so stupid, self-centered and mean. This is the third time they don't even wants lift a finger to help me. Yes, unhappy is the correct description for it.

It doesn't feel good not being able to go and see him.

And the second problem is that i don't think i will be able to go and see him in december either. So stupid!

I feel so angry and disappointed of them. They won't have me there much longer, I am very sure of that. Do doubts!

Bye
/Soffan

Irritation can disappear in a second like it was nothing in the beginning

Why do you always make me so happy? Even then you're putting my patience on the test, by being headstrong when I am leting you learn me french. When my patience is on its way to fade away, you put me back on track. I get irritated of you some times, but you only have to look at me, speak to me, smile at me, and i forget about my irritation. You make me want to learn the language so I will be able to talk to you completly. You are my light. To have you in my heart makes every day a brighter day.

In a few hours i will be on my way to another day in my journey of language learning. It is soon time for my 5th (has half of my course already past away!?) frenchcourse-lesson and i feel more ready than ever.

Speaking of something completely different, my love did today look really hard for a solution to come and see me in Sweden soon. Haha, we are so pissed off the flight-company that we used to take before. It was the only cheap company that had flights going to our countries and they have decided to stop going our route. Not fun to have to take both train, bus and flight and another flight to be able to see eachother. :/ I don't want him to throwing away his money to take this opition.
But i know we will find a solution, we've done it perfectly so far.

Time to go to bed borh my french-course and my work is waiting for me in the morning, fun( = especially the last one) .

Good night my readers!
/Soffan

I welcome the future

I was so angry yesterday that i even begun crying uncontrollable. And in still really, really angry which have lead to that i have made a decision about making a change. To be able to make the change i have begun all ready to look for other options.

This is something i have been having on my mind for a while, i have just ignored the fact of how i want it. But know i have reached the point where i won't accept my unhappiness in this matter.
I have been keeping a good attitude and given a happy face every day, but know i don't feel like they deserve my good manner and etc. Bye bye some changes will be made! Good bye yesterday and welcome future!

/Soffan

The little rabbit

I have been introduced to a new game by Stéphane. It's one of those games you can't stop playing once you tried it. It's like the game Tetris. Impossible to stop playing even thou it is the same thing going on in the game over and over again. And the name of the game is...Winterbells. http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm <------

Play, play, play haha! xD

/Soffan

Of love

I have just had another amazing phonecall with my lovely Stéphane. We have talked, been singing, singing together in italian, reading our first messeges, confessed our first thoughts about eachother and about our second meeting ever. Summary, another perfect end of the evening/night. Je t'aime mon lamantin. ;)

After been awake sense 6 o´clock yesterday morning, am I now pretty tired. Well, I have myself to blame when i stay up into the middle of the night to talk. Even though my sleep puts back in the corner of my living so am I very happy. I don't regret staying up talking.

It is difficult to be apart like us. He lives in France and i live in Sweden. Seeing him makes me so increadibly happy, but every time i have to leave is it so, so, so painful.

He has told me that he never before cried for a girl. That he never cries for no reason. That he put himself out vulnerable like that for me. I have no words.

He is the best thing that has happend to me, or as he says best meet.

This turned out to be a post of love. But as usual i did not know before what my text would be about.

I wish you a good night!
/Soffan

Football

Two days have past sense he wrote me something so today i wrote to him again. He is so cute..haha!:D He is busy with "a war" that he has against his neboure... I am relieved to hear that i didn't wrote him something that he didn't liked to read.:) Now i am gonna try to find enought focus to watch the EM-game Sweden vs England,but i think i'll need some snacks if im gonna make it trought.xD Time to go out and buy some i guess and when i'll find out if football is anything for me.

Happy girl! :D

I go to bed ever night with a happy, happy feeling. This is the best time in my life and i tresure every second of it.

/Soffan

Right or wrong?

I am so happy, happier than I have been in a long long time. I don't care what other people think about me and my writing to the guy i don't know to well. There is plenty of time to get to know each other. He is such a nice guy, with an amazing smile and it feels so natural to write to him.

I miss him, but that is one thing i havn't been truly honest about with friends. I don't what them to judge me. They probably see this like something that is or couldn't be serious. But if you don't give things a chance how will you than find out? Ok, i can see the hatch. 1) We have only meet twice and the first time i was a bit drunk. 2) We dont live in the same country.

But i don't see these to things as something that have to stop us from getting to know each other and so on.

He is really sweet and that is something i already felt the first time we meet, from the beginning. I feel that he is a honest person with a huge heart and that is what i will continue to believe.

Ok, everything im writing feels a bit stupid an naive, but when i meet people i usually leave them by themself after a while and kind of  "run away", but with this guy it didn't feel like i had to do that and sometimes you should trust the voice in your head that tells you that it's the right thing to do.

I feel so confused right now, so confused. I have been feeling so extremly nervous the whole week. Ok, it's only Wednesday now...

And now I'm feeling more nervous than ever because i sent an e-mail with sentences i personaly never would write else. I dont like the whole thing about writing from the heart because that means that you have to be completely honest. And that means that if the person that reads it dont like whats written, you have embarrassed yourself completely for nothing.

Okay, im overanalyzing it and overreact....

God night!
/Soffan

Unnecessary activities!

It's hasn't been much time for this blog lately. I've been working more than ever or at least it feels like I have.

Anyway the important thing is that I have not forgotten about my dear friend (this blog) and that i'm taking my time today to write something here. :P

Now it's acctually time for my "beautysleep" so I have to make this short. There is accually nothing i would like to say, but now when I'm sitting here and writing about nothing so can I grasp the opportunity and tell you why I'm still awake in the middle of the night.

I'm been painting for no reason at all. It's my second night painting instead of sleeping. It is kind of fun so I guess that's the reason for using my time to this unnecessary activity. xD

/Soffan

The 24th!

The 24th we celebrate christmas here in Sweden and I am loving it! It is one of my favorite celebrations of every celebrations we celebrate here in the North!


Today after work I meet up with my younger brother and my mum to choose out this years christmastree.

I'm pretty happy with the result even though we don't use to buy this type of firtree. It's a really tall tree so I'm crossing my fingers and hope for that it will be short enough to fit in our livingroom, hehe.


Tomorrow is my last day at work before i go on holiday, and of course it's a really long and heavy day that I have to look forward to, but it doesn't bother me. Well, at least not yet! ;) I got free "glögg" (I think it's a sort of wine with a taste of cinnamon, that's served warm with raisins and almond.) from a charismatic guy with a great charm and that made my day! xD

And this is all I have to say now!

To give you some christmasspirit I give you here a link to a great christmas-song preformed by one of my favorite artists, So this is Christmas with Robbie Williams!
Sheephugs to all of you out there!
/Soffan

The picture is taking some years ago at chistmas and it's my younger brother in the picture next to our christmastree. :P

Trouble sleeping

It's in the middle of the night. The sky is as dark as the deepest ocean and the stars are shining brighter than spotlights. Maybe it's time to start thinking about turn of the light, brush my teeth and go to bed? I should really do that because it wouldn't be wise to wake up late "tomorrow" and get use to it because that would only lead to me feeling very tired, fretful and unfocused witch would probably make me do a lousy job.

But now I'm still sitting here even thou I am writting about this subject in this very moment. Shouldn't all this talk about how good it would be for me to go to bed make me stop writting about it and insteed act for it?

It doesn't make any sense because I do feel really tired, but still I am not acting to do something about it! Sometimes I am really wondering how my logic sense is working... How do I really make my decisions about what would be the right and wrong thing to do?

I hope I can trust my judgement then I now will close my computer and leave this spot. I cross my fingers that I wont do anything stupid like start solving crosswords or something because that would suprice me a bit if I did. xD

Good night and sheephugs for everyone!

/Soffan

Another day in paradise!

I survived todays opening at work! I'm so relieved to have made it through my second opening ever and now there's no more openings on my schedule this month, this YEAR! :D

The one that checked my cleaning today couldn't even found that much to complain about my work.. Well, if I would have worked a few more hours today she would probably have been giving me a lot more complains that I would have to take care of, but I only worked 4h! ;)

I hope I wont be scheduled with more openings in the future. Hey, they have to see that it's not something that I am good at. XD

The worse thing with it is that it have to be done in 4h, THREE FLOORS in FOUR HOURS! It isn't reasonable! :O Exept the short time you have to do it in, I dislike that you have to use the elevator to get some of the gears(??) to the other floors! I hate the elevator. As always when I am forced to use elevator, every time, I get stuck in it or the lamps in the elevator blow out(??). Why does it always happens to me and non of the other staff-members have ever seen "the phenomenon"? =(

/Soffan