Indescribable happiness!

I feel enormous happiness in this moment. I don't care if i misspell words or in any other way write something grammaticly wrong.

This person, me, was an hour ago really unhappy and irritated, but now i feel increadibly happy.

Good news can really lift you up from the mud. I'm looking forward to the very close future. <3 p="p">
Happiness.

/Soffan

Unhappy

My work is making me depressed. No, one tries to help or anything. Went there crying, left from it after crying then i finished for the day. Cried two times after on my way home. I'm glad that i have such a great boyfriend that is there to listen to my problems and make me feel better. I LOVE YOU, Stéphane! Je t'aime.

Seriously i feel so tired after all emotions today. And i feel an enormous aversion to not going to work tomorrow. Don't want to get near of that place at all. But i have obligations, which means that i have absolutly no alternative than to do my job.

Unhappiness and hopelessness is not fun to carry around on.

Please let me get my holidays as i want them now when i send in my message.

I want to feel hopeful and happy again!
/Soffan

Unhappy and angry

I am unhappy.  Doing all I can do, but it doesn't go the way i want it to go anyway. As it seems now, I won't be albe to see my love this month. People are so stupid, self-centered and mean. This is the third time they don't even wants lift a finger to help me. Yes, unhappy is the correct description for it.

It doesn't feel good not being able to go and see him.

And the second problem is that i don't think i will be able to go and see him in december either. So stupid!

I feel so angry and disappointed of them. They won't have me there much longer, I am very sure of that. Do doubts!

Bye
/Soffan

Irritation can disappear in a second like it was nothing in the beginning

Why do you always make me so happy? Even then you're putting my patience on the test, by being headstrong when I am leting you learn me french. When my patience is on its way to fade away, you put me back on track. I get irritated of you some times, but you only have to look at me, speak to me, smile at me, and i forget about my irritation. You make me want to learn the language so I will be able to talk to you completly. You are my light. To have you in my heart makes every day a brighter day.

In a few hours i will be on my way to another day in my journey of language learning. It is soon time for my 5th (has half of my course already past away!?) frenchcourse-lesson and i feel more ready than ever.

Speaking of something completely different, my love did today look really hard for a solution to come and see me in Sweden soon. Haha, we are so pissed off the flight-company that we used to take before. It was the only cheap company that had flights going to our countries and they have decided to stop going our route. Not fun to have to take both train, bus and flight and another flight to be able to see eachother. :/ I don't want him to throwing away his money to take this opition.
But i know we will find a solution, we've done it perfectly so far.

Time to go to bed borh my french-course and my work is waiting for me in the morning, fun( = especially the last one) .

Good night my readers!
/Soffan

I welcome the future

I was so angry yesterday that i even begun crying uncontrollable. And in still really, really angry which have lead to that i have made a decision about making a change. To be able to make the change i have begun all ready to look for other options.

This is something i have been having on my mind for a while, i have just ignored the fact of how i want it. But know i have reached the point where i won't accept my unhappiness in this matter.
I have been keeping a good attitude and given a happy face every day, but know i don't feel like they deserve my good manner and etc. Bye bye some changes will be made! Good bye yesterday and welcome future!

/Soffan

The little rabbit

I have been introduced to a new game by Stéphane. It's one of those games you can't stop playing once you tried it. It's like the game Tetris. Impossible to stop playing even thou it is the same thing going on in the game over and over again. And the name of the game is...Winterbells. http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm <------

Play, play, play haha! xD

/Soffan

Of love

I have just had another amazing phonecall with my lovely Stéphane. We have talked, been singing, singing together in italian, reading our first messeges, confessed our first thoughts about eachother and about our second meeting ever. Summary, another perfect end of the evening/night. Je t'aime mon lamantin. ;)

After been awake sense 6 o´clock yesterday morning, am I now pretty tired. Well, I have myself to blame when i stay up into the middle of the night to talk. Even though my sleep puts back in the corner of my living so am I very happy. I don't regret staying up talking.

It is difficult to be apart like us. He lives in France and i live in Sweden. Seeing him makes me so increadibly happy, but every time i have to leave is it so, so, so painful.

He has told me that he never before cried for a girl. That he never cries for no reason. That he put himself out vulnerable like that for me. I have no words.

He is the best thing that has happend to me, or as he says best meet.

This turned out to be a post of love. But as usual i did not know before what my text would be about.

I wish you a good night!
/Soffan

Football

Two days have past sense he wrote me something so today i wrote to him again. He is so cute..haha!:D He is busy with "a war" that he has against his neboure... I am relieved to hear that i didn't wrote him something that he didn't liked to read.:) Now i am gonna try to find enought focus to watch the EM-game Sweden vs England,but i think i'll need some snacks if im gonna make it trought.xD Time to go out and buy some i guess and when i'll find out if football is anything for me.

Happy girl! :D

I go to bed ever night with a happy, happy feeling. This is the best time in my life and i tresure every second of it.

/Soffan

Right or wrong?

I am so happy, happier than I have been in a long long time. I don't care what other people think about me and my writing to the guy i don't know to well. There is plenty of time to get to know each other. He is such a nice guy, with an amazing smile and it feels so natural to write to him.

I miss him, but that is one thing i havn't been truly honest about with friends. I don't what them to judge me. They probably see this like something that is or couldn't be serious. But if you don't give things a chance how will you than find out? Ok, i can see the hatch. 1) We have only meet twice and the first time i was a bit drunk. 2) We dont live in the same country.

But i don't see these to things as something that have to stop us from getting to know each other and so on.

He is really sweet and that is something i already felt the first time we meet, from the beginning. I feel that he is a honest person with a huge heart and that is what i will continue to believe.

Ok, everything im writing feels a bit stupid an naive, but when i meet people i usually leave them by themself after a while and kind of  "run away", but with this guy it didn't feel like i had to do that and sometimes you should trust the voice in your head that tells you that it's the right thing to do.

I feel so confused right now, so confused. I have been feeling so extremly nervous the whole week. Ok, it's only Wednesday now...

And now I'm feeling more nervous than ever because i sent an e-mail with sentences i personaly never would write else. I dont like the whole thing about writing from the heart because that means that you have to be completely honest. And that means that if the person that reads it dont like whats written, you have embarrassed yourself completely for nothing.

Okay, im overanalyzing it and overreact....

God night!
/Soffan

Unnecessary activities!

It's hasn't been much time for this blog lately. I've been working more than ever or at least it feels like I have.

Anyway the important thing is that I have not forgotten about my dear friend (this blog) and that i'm taking my time today to write something here. :P

Now it's acctually time for my "beautysleep" so I have to make this short. There is accually nothing i would like to say, but now when I'm sitting here and writing about nothing so can I grasp the opportunity and tell you why I'm still awake in the middle of the night.

I'm been painting for no reason at all. It's my second night painting instead of sleeping. It is kind of fun so I guess that's the reason for using my time to this unnecessary activity. xD

/Soffan